Missouri Divorce Frequently Asked Questions

Without seeking a divorce, your options are limited. Obviously, you could apply for public assistance-welfare, food stamps, Section 8 housing-as well as rely on the generosity of family, friends and food pantries. You could also file charges against your husband for criminal non-support. However, ask the judge to suspend execution of a jail sentence...he can't work and support his family while locked up...pending his taking care of his responsibilities.

Quite frankly, though, I am wondering why you are not considering a divorce. Your question states that he has abandoned you and the children for more than a year and has shown no indication that he cares about your welfare. By filing for divorce, you can ask the court to order your husband to support you and the kids while the divorce case is pending (called a "p.d.l." motion). Your attorney can ask for a quick hearing. Even so, it will probably be a several weeks before an order will be issued. Realistically, though, any bum that can walk out on his kids may not take a court order very seriously. On second thought, perhaps a few nights in the hoosegow is just what's needed to get his attention

I assume that you have tried learning his whereabouts through family, friends, and work colleagues, but if not, this is where to start. Then, have him served at the most likely place he can be found, such as at his job. If this is unsuccessful, he can be served by "publication" by having your lawsuit petition reprinted in a general circulation newspaper in the area that he was last known to reside. Once served, even if by publication, the support is payable back to the date of filing your lawsuit. Of course, if you have to resort to service by publication, I suspect that you are going to have trouble collecting the support you are due. There are low cost ways to collect back due child support, including working with Missouri's Child Support Enforcement team, reachable at 800-859-7999.

First of all, only your income and your former wife's counts in determining child support.

Secondly, if your total financial situation is at least 20% different from when the court order was entered, then you are a candidate to have your child support reduced. In addition to the change in income, you will need to prove that you diligently tried to find a job paying as much as you did before and that you did not succeed. Retrieve any records related to your job search showing all the places you inquired about employment. Perhaps you have some of the cover letters and resumes you sent out, as well as any rejection letters.

If you did find a job paying about the same and did not accept it, you had better have a good reason. Otherwise, the court may "impute" the higher income to you-that is, "pretend" you are making that much money in determining your child support obligation.

"Shared parenting" is not a term recognized in the divorce statutes of Missouri. I suspect you may mean a situation where both parents are involved in the decision-making relating to their child, such as on education, medical treatment, religion, and other "big deal" issues. This is a worthwhile goal and very much in concert with the Missouri's statutes on divorce, which states in part: "...it is the public policy of this state that frequent, continuing and meaningful contact with both parents after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage is in the best interest of the child."

There is no legal term "full custody" either, so I can only guess at what your goals are here. However, based on your desire to have both father and mother share the parenting, I suspect that you would be seeking "joint legal custody", where the parents share the decision-making rights, responsibilities, and authority, even though physical custody might be solely or predominately with one parent. However, you should know that the Family Court will ultimately determine what degree of shared physical custody will be in the best interests of your child. As such, you and the father may end up with "joint physical custody" as well, with both parents being awarded substantial periods of time with the child.

Your friend is in a difficult situation that should serve as a caution to others. The unwillingness to share financial information with your "partner" is never a good sign. In all likelihood, the husband will be ordered to pay only a portion of your friend's attorney fees and living costs while the divorce is pending because judges rarely award 100% of the fees and living costs that one spouse seeks from the other, no matter how destitute that spouse is.

The least amount of time, by statute, is 31 days after the divorce has been filed with the court. Those situations are extremely rare. More typically, a divorce that "settles" between the parties without having to go to trial takes about 8 months. A divorce that requires a trial to be concluded will take about 12 months, and if that outcome is then taken to the Court of Appeals, this can add up to another 12 months.

No, individuals can represent themselves in a divorce (called "pro se"). In fact, St. Louis County facilitates this with its Family Court Resource Center, which I wrote about in a Suburban Journal Fox Family Files column. They will provide those without lawyers the forms that need to be completed and guidance, but not legal advice, on how they are to be filled in.

However, obtaining a fair and equitable divorce often requires more than simply completing court-provided forms. Many divorces, even for those with modest financial resources, still present one or two potentially complex issues that would best be resolved with the aid of a qualified attorney. For example, when there are children born of a marriage, the law requires a parenting plan conforming to its requirements that is in the best interests of the children. Or, did one of the spouses or both earn an interest in a retirement plan during the marriage that should be divided between the parties?.

Even a single consultation can be helpful to a budget-constrained client in identifying their options and rights as they contemplate a divorce and what they should do to protect their interests..

There is a unique approach that we call the ConstructiveDivorce® that reduces the financial and emotional costs of a divorce by focusing clients on what they need for the next stage of their life, rather than continuing to fight about the past. To that end, we assist our clients in identifying what is most important to them and then make sure that our resources, and theirs, are aimed on those priorities. .

Your daughter has the right - and the power- to fire her lawyer at any time. She should, however, retain another lawyer prior to terminating the services of her current attorney. She should not be unrepresented for any period of time. Anyone contemplating dismissing their attorney should be cautious about doing this if their case is close to going to trial. Most lawyers will not take on a case set for trial in the very near future. However, before starting over with a new attorney who will likely charge your daughter to get up to speed on her case, I urge her to bring her dissatisfactions to the attention of her current attorney. She should see if her current representative will meet 30 minutes "off the clock" to discuss her concerns about the relationship. Like marriages, many attorney-client relationships can be saved with more emphasis on improving the communication.

In Missouri, the divorce can filed and heard in the county where either party resides, or by mutual consent, in any county within the state.