Parenting Time | Child Visitation

The Parenting Plan

Parenting time is the time that a child spends with their parent – custodial or non-custodial. However the term is generally used to discuss the time the non-custodial parent spends with a child.

Whenever possible parenting time decisions should be made by the parents and not left to a judge to decide. Co-parenting is probably the one area that will require the most joint cooperation and flexibility between divorcing or separated parents.

There is no "model" schedule. Every family dynamic is different. When creating a parenting plan, think creatively. Put together a schedule that is uniquely matched to you family.

Try to stay away from schedules that are confusing. When developing a parenting plan keep in mind these factors: The child's age The child's school schedule and extracurricular activities The child's social life Parent's work schedule Vacation time Holidays The best interest of the child

Virtual Visitation

The latest trend in visitation is "virtual visitation". Currently Florida, Illinois, North Carolina, Texas, Utah and Wisconsin are allowing judges to include the use of webcams, e-mail, instant messaging, video calls such as Skype, and other technological tools to keep non-custodial parents in touch with their children.

Virtual visitation is a vast improvement over the basic phone call. One-on-one video conferences let parents and children see each other and better connect as they talk.

While virtual visitation has made it much easier for non-custodial parents to maintain a relationship with their children who have relocated to a different state it can be beneficial even when parents don’t live far from each other.

As with most every aspect of divorce the more you and your ex can negotiate the better off you are. If however you aren’t able to come to an agreement regarding electronic communications seven states now can it and 19 more have laws in the draft stage to allow virtual visitation.

Vacations

Each parent should have vacation time with their children. The amount of vacation time that the child spends with each parent should be determined by what works best for each family. There are various factors that should be considered including the age of the child, school schedules including winter break, spring break, summer vacations and the parent's work schedules.

Holidays

Holidays are commonly alternated every other year. While this may seem to be the most "fair" set up it may not necessarily work for every family. Some families have certain traditions for particular holidays. For instance, the father's family might have a Christmas Eve tradition while the mother's family has a big family gathering on Christmas day. In a case like this you might want to consider not alternating these holidays but to let the children be with their mother on one holiday and the father on the other. If you have to work on a holiday that the children are to spend with you, then you should allow the other parent to have the children on that day without "trading" for another holiday.

Pick Up and Drop Off

Do not use visitation pickup and drop-off as an opportunity to continue or begin an argument with your (ex) spouse. If you do not get along with your ex then remain in the car. When you arrive to pick up the children for their visitation let the children come out to you. Do not go inside.

Custodial Parent - Make sure the children are ready on time for their visitation.

Non Custodial Parent - Be on time. If you are going to be late, call your (ex) spouse as soon as possible and let him/her know what time you will be arriving. It's only fair to the children to let them know if you are going to be late.

In general, if you can be flexible when it comes to visitation or parenting time everyone wins, especially the children. What it really comes down to is respect. You can't expect your children to be respectful to others if they don't see you being respectful. Always remember the best interest of the child!

Additional Child Custody and Visitation Resources:

Children Related Articles

50/50 Parenting Plans - A lot of people come to divorce mediation thinking that they want a 50/50 parenting plan ...

Back to School - For divorced or divorcing parents, the shift from summer schedules to school can sometimes be particularly stressful. ...

Children And Divorce - Your child's stability, emotionally and physically, should be your primary focus during divorce. ...

Co-Parenting After a Divorce-Tips from a Mediator - Co-parenting starts the day the decision is made to divorce has been made ...

Custody And Visitation - What Do Those Words Actually Mean, In Layman's Terms? - Custody and Visitation are legal terms. When discussing parenting, first decide what is best for your kids ...

Custody Evaluations (Minnesota) - Minnesota statutes provide that: "In contested custody proceedings . . . the court may order an investigation and report concerning custodial arrangements ...

Custody of Children Born Out of Wedlock in Minnesota - In Minnesota, the determination of custody for children born out of wedlock is no different than the determination of custody for children of marriage ...

Effects of Divorce on Children: How to Protect Your Kids - The negative effects of your divorce on your children are a given, the question is "to what degree" ...

FERPA and College Contribution - New Jersey divorced parents who help pay for their child's college education are now legally entitled to review their child's grades/transcript. ...

Georgia Child Custody - Many people assume that the mother automatically receives custody of the minor children in a divorce ...

Getting Co-Parenting Help Online - We explain to our clients that parenting is a lifelong commitment. So, it is best for you and your kids to have tools to make it work effectively. ...

Grandparent Visitation Rights in New Jersey - The relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren has become increasingly complex over the past few decades. More and more ...

Legal Custody in Minnesota - In Minnesota, custody is defined in terms of legal custody and physical custody. The scope of this article is legal custody. ...

Mediation with the Children in Mind:The Role of the Parenting Coordinator - To help ensure compliance with parenting plans and to assist with any problems that arise the court may appoint a Parenting Coordinator ...

Modification of Physical Custody in Minnesota - A Court may not change physical custody from one parent to the other unless the change is in the best interests of the child ...

Nesting - Divorcing parents often ask about "nesting" or the child custody/parenting plan where the kids stay in the family home ...

Parenting Plan Tune-Ups - Is your parenting plan still working or does your parenting plan need a tune-up? ...

Parenting Plans - How do you create a parenting plan with someone you no longer want to be around? ...

Parenting Plans in Minnesota - Minnesota litigants have had the option of stipulating to a "Parenting Plan" in lieu of a traditional custody award ...

Parenting Time (a/k/a Visitation) in Minnesota - The general rule is that parenting time (visitation) is mandatory. Typical parentint time schedules and modification of parenting time ...

Sharing Custody - For the most part, divorcing parents come to mediation with the idea that they will share custody of the kids ...

Sharing Parenting - What is the best way to share parenting when you are getting divorced? ...

Teacher Conferences Important to Divorced or Divorcing Parents - When parents are going through a divorce or are divorced, usually one of them has little knowledge about what is happening in their child's classroom ...

Telling the Children About the Divorce - When is the best time to tell your children that you are getting divorced? We often hear this question ...

The Importance of Temporary Custody in Minnesota - In cases where the issue of custody is contested, there is often an initial hearing where the Court decides issues of custody ...

The Standard for Determining Physical Custody in Minnesota - As in many areas of family law, the standard applied by the Court in making an initial award of physical custody is the so-called "best interest of the child" ...

What Constitutes Full-Time College Enrollment/Attendance? - The connection between emancipation and what constitutes full time college enrollment/attendance was recently explored in the ...

Yay for Summer! - For divorcing families, summer sometimes comes with extra challenges ...