Divorce Mediation

Mediation is a process where couples negotiate an acceptable agreement with the aid of a mediator. The agreement negotiated is legally binding.

A mediator is a neutral third party who assists in the negotiations; however, they do no make the decisions for you. Just as every situation is different, every mediator has a different approach to mediation. It is the mediator's responsibility to structure the sessions so that the couple can successfully negotiate a divorce agreement. A good mediator will encourage you to put the past behind you and focus on the facts at the present moment.

There are different phases that the mediation process goes through. Initially, the couple will meet with the mediator and discuss the background information and the facts of their particular situation. At this meeting, the approach that will be used during the mediation will be determined. This approach is usually determined by the communication between the couple and the issues that need to be resolved.

Next is the information gathering stage. The couple will provide the mediator with information pertinent to their situation such as real estate owned, retirement fund, debts, and inventory of jointly owned assets including bank accounts, investment accounts, automobiles etc. Often during the information gathering stage the sessions are held separately. If the couple can't agree, it is the responsibility of the mediator to help them come up with the options available to resolve the disagreements.

The third phase of the process is determining the issues that need to be resolved. These could include division of property, division of debts, child custody and visitation, child support, alimony, and any other issues pertinent to their particular situation.

Once all the issues have been put on the table the couple will move to the next phase- negotiation. Now the mediator helps the couple explore the options that are available for settlement. During negotiations the couple would usually come up with various scenarios of settlement options. Once the scenarios that are totally unacceptable are eliminated the couple will be better able to see the options that are workable. Often in this phase it may become apparent to the couple the areas where possible trade-off can be made to balance out the settlement. For example, if the car is important to one person and the vacation home is important to the other it may be possible with a little give and take to agree on the issues.

When all the issues have been agreed upon, a preliminary settlement is drawn up. At this time if the participants have decided to seek the opinion of a legal professional they would have the document reviewed. Any revisions that are needed are made. Once the agreement is completed both parties sign it. Remember that every state has different laws. If the court must approve your settlement it must be submitted for review. Upon approval it then becomes a legally binding agreement

A few things to remember about mediation:

• Mediation is a private process, not open to the public as a court case is. However, be aware that what is disclosed in mediation may not necessarily be confidential. In some places it may be used in court if your case goes through the legal system. Check you individual state laws.
  
  
• If there is an imbalance of power between the couple that needs to be disclosed in the early stages of mediation. The mediator will help come up with strategies to level the playing field.
  
  
• It is important to hire an attorney to consult with during the process. Be sure to choose an attorney that is open to and aware of the process of mediation, otherwise the process may become adversarial.
  
  

Mediation Related Articles

A Hotly Contested Divorce Chills Out With Divorce Mediation - The key question, of course, is how would it ever be possible for a couple who had been embroiled for three years in an adversarial system ...

Alimony in a Changing Landscape - The alimony landscape in Massachusetts is changing and causing confusion for divorce mediators, lawyers, and their clients. ...

Alimony In Massachusetts- Is It Predictable? - Alimony, as a key factor to be determined in many divorce actions. It is an emotionally charged word and concept. Just mention the word alimony in passing and the responses are swift and diverse. ...

Are Children's Voices Heard by Separating and Divorcing Parents? - I don't want to divorce my children. Not uncommonly, parental discussions on divorce begin ...

Benefits of Divorce Mediation - While the concept of mediation may seem relatively new ...

Blended Families: Protecting Children the Second Time Around - An increasing number of remarrying couples are turning to prenuptial agreements to protect their children in the event of death, even divorce. ...

Can You Have a Mediated Divorce If You Are Angry At Your Spouse? - Anger is a normal feeling to have during a divorce. In fact, if you didn't feel angry there would probably be something very wrong ...

Changing the Language of Divorce through Mediation - You've most likely seen an article or two on the importance of remembering your parental role during divorce and/or mediation proceedings ...

Child Support - Why Don't People Pay - One of the goals of a good mediator is to make sure the final child support amount is decided up and agreed to by both parents. ...

Collaborative Law: A Safe Container of Mediation and Advocacy - Now with collaborative practice growing in the U.S ...

Colorado's New Professional Mediator Status - Colorado CCMO "Guidelines-Qualified" and "Professional" Mediators ...

Co-Parenting After a Divorce-Tips from a Mediator - Co-parenting starts the day the decision is made to divorce has been made ...

Cost Issues in Divorce Mediation vs. Litigation - The right mediator offers essential benefits while keeping costs reasonable and responsible ...

Divorce - Is A Peaceful One Possible? - Why does one word cause so much hatred, pain, loss of control ...

Divorce - It Can Bring Out the Worst in People - There is no way to eliminate the dramatic and complex emotions associated with a divorce ...

Divorce - The Fork In The Road: Which Way You Travel Is Important - Whenever we meet bumps in the road there is usually more than one path to choose. Many couples choose mediation ...

Divorce Mediation - A Primer - Briefly describe the philosophy and procedures involved with divorce mediation ...

Divorce Mediation, Is It For You? - Separation and divorce are among the most painful and disruptive experiences an individual and family can face ...

Divorce Mediation: Cost Saving Process - Cost-conscientious clients view mediation as a means to proceed with divorce in a down market. After all, mediation offers them obvious cost-savings measures ...

Estate Planning and Divorce - Married individuals who are considering divorce should review their estate plans to determine if they remain appropriate in light of the possible divorce ...

Financial Challenges in Divorce Mediation - A divorce mediator can make the subject of finances a much easier topic by virtue of providing a non-judging and safe arena to air financial concerns ...

Getting Divorced? You Have Options - Couples often find the preliminary stages of the divorce process overwhelming because of the many issues they need to consider. ...

Government Involvement or Divorce Mediation? You Decide - The message we seem to be getting from Washington is that government can be a part of the solution, not the problem ...

How Does Mediation Work and How Much Will it Cost? - I begin work with people by identifying all of the unresolved issues. We have a detailed checklist that we go through ...

How It Really Works - It's natural to entertain a healthy skepticism regarding any newer and non-traditional divorce process. ...

How Neutral Transactional Attorneys Can Provide Value in Consensual Divorces - Many divorces are resolved through consensual, out-of-court resolutions. Most divorce cases ultimately resolve by agreement, either before or after the start of litigation. ...

How To Choose A Divorce Mediator - You want to avoid making bad decisions that will live to haunt you. Your spouse thinks mediation is worth considering ...

How To Win - Why Litigation May Not Be The Best Choice - Most of the work of a lawyer is to help a client achieve his or her goals in the most sensible and effective way, and at the least cost ...

Interest-Based Negotiations - During a divorce, many people become very "position-based", articulating their settlement proposals in terms of labels ...

Is Mediation Right For You? - Individuals considering mediation frequently want to know whether or not they are appropriate mediation candidates ...

Keeping it Confidential: Mediation and Privacy - A mediator, by virtue of their professional relationship with a couple is bound by strict confidentiality ...

Keeping It Real: Mediation's Power in Spousal Maintenance Cases - Family and Divorce Mediation's Underestimated Power in Spousal Maintenance (Alimony) Planning ...

Mediating A Child Removal Case - Among the most wrenching of all post-divorce family disputes is the conflict that arises when one parent feels compelled to move out of state with the children; ...

Mediating A Livable Divorce Agreement - During your divorce mediation, the ultimate goal is to obtain a written agreement that spells out all the aspects of your divorce ...

Mediation / Arbitration - There are many so-called "alternate dispute resolution" mechanisms available in Maine. Mediation with a court mediator is required in any family law matter before the case may go to trial. ...

Mediation and Financial Security for Families - Planning for a family's continued financial security is part of every mediated divorce ...

Mediation Can Help Reduce Arguments for Couples Forced to Live Together - We have been hearing a lot of stories lately about people who can't afford to get a divorce and are forced to live together ...

Mediation Can Help You Deal With The Causes Of Divorce - Mediation, by nature and definition, bridges the emotional gulf that can exist between couples ...

Mediation in Minnesota - Some form of Alternative Dispute Resolution is now a mandatory requirement in any divorce proceeding in Minnesota ...

Mediation to Stay Married-A Technique with Promise - Learn to Make Your Marriage Work ...

Mediation: An Alternative To The Ugly Divorce - You may be wondering what kind of process can help smooth out the bumpy path to divorce: It is mediation - a nonadversarial, confidential process.. ...

Mediator Neutrality -- How is it possible? - There is always miscommunication between divorcing people, but a neutral mediator can help to improve the communication to make sure that you understand where the other is coming from, ...

Monkey Mind and Infidelity - There is a time in everyone's marriage when one spouse or the other is attracted to another person. ...

New Jersey Divorce - Custody Mediation - NJ divorce & custody mediation is a process in which a trained mediator helps a couple to make family law related decisions such as child custody, support, alimony ...

Post Divorce Mediation Tasks Can Make All the Difference - There are often things a divorcing couple must take care after divorce mediation. Often these items are a nuisance and the last thing you want to do ...

Taking the Drama out of Divorce Through Mediation - If your divorce is highly charged with open anger and conflict you may want to go the mediation route because mediators are professionals at diffusing crisis ...

Ten Golden Rules For Completing Colorado Divorce - Based upon our experience as Colorado professional mediators in working with many such couples, we offer our "Ten Golden Rules For Completing Colorado Divorce and Family Law Forms ...

Ten Secrets of Reviewing Counsel for Clients in Mediation - Being a reviewing lawyer for a party in a mediation requires many skills. Surprisingly, only one of them is a knowledge of the law ...

The Dilemma of Health Insurance after Divorce - The key to understanding the insurance dilemma facing divorced spouses is to look at long term solutions ...

The Division of Assets and Debts During a Divorce - Divorce mediation offers a unique perspective on the dissolution of a marriage and the division of marital assets. ...

The Enforcement of Mediation Agreements - Mediation is all of the rage in family court these days. However, in my professional opinion mediation ...

The Truth About Divorce Mediation v. Litigation - The reality of a divorce court trial is that most litigants walk out of the courtroom feeling as if they have just been run over by a truck ...

What Do We Need In Order To Be Successful In Mediation? - The number one thing you need is for both of you to truly want to resolve everything in mediation, and to move forward. I have, so many times, ...

What is a "Surgical Divorce" and How to Get One? - Many of the people who come to see me about getting a divorce have minimal disputes with their soon-to-be former spouse. They may have worked out most (or even all) issues with their spouse. ...

What is a Mediation Strategist? - For those individuals who want to mediate, but whose spouse refuses to participate in the process, there is an innovative solution - a mediation strategist ...

What is Mediation and how can it help you during your divorce? - Divorce Mediation is a non-adversarial and cost effective alternative to dispute resolution ...

When Words go to Court - When mediators and family lawyers reduce their clients' understandings to writing, the words they choose ...

Why Add a Neutral Process Coach to a Collaborative Divorce - Collaborative divorce combines several elements of the divorce process into an effective whole. The result is, in general, a divorce that is more closely tailored ...

Why I Love Divorce Mediation - Not every client getting divorced chooses mediation, but for those who do, the choice is almost always a wise one. ...