Divorce is the solution to a problem, not the problem itself. The problem is you are in an unhappy marriage and no longer want to be. The solution is to no longer be married to this person and move on with your life. The divorce is the process you need to go through to resolve your problem. Inevitably, to solve your problem you run into some bumps along the way, major decisions need to be made and some disagreements do occur, so it feels like the divorce is the problem. But the process of divorce gets you to where you want to be...unmarried.
Divorce Mediation can help you solve your problem and come to the solution in an amicable and cost-effective way. In mediation, both husband and wife meet with a neutral mediator. The three of you work together to problem-solve and move forward. You address all the areas of a divorce- parenting plan, distribution of assets and debt, child support and alimony. The mediator helps you resolve what is happening with the kids, house, 401K plans, mortgage, and credit card debt. How can you afford to live in two separate household when your current income was barely (or not at all) supporting one household? When you are all in the same room communicating about these important issues, answers can be found quickly and with minimal fighting.
The divorce mediator always remains neutral, and does not take any one side. But having that third person in the room who is neutral, helps move the process along. When left alone, most couples start to argue about something and get stuck and even back-track to the same old fight that contributed to the demise of the marriage. The divorce mediator's job is to help the process move forward and to plan for the future. The mediator can table the fight and refocus on the task at hand, so decisions get made, couples work out a parenting plan, figure out new budgets, and decide what to do with the house and the retirement plans. It is possible to have a more amicable divorce for a lower cost by using a divorce mediator. While a divorce mediator does not resolve your problem directly by stating the answers, she helps the couple move the process along and solve their own problem (an unhappy marriage) with a solution (divorce).