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Category Archives: Divorce
Divorce for One, Please
Westfield Mediation, LLC
What if only one half of the couple wants to get divorced?
As divorce mediators, we often hear this question. Generally, both people know that their marriage is rocky. But often, only one spouse feels ready to end it. The reasons vary – maybe one person is more willing to deal with conflict than the other, or one person feels more ready to start fresh. Sometimes, it just takes one person longer than the other to accept that it is not working out. Still, as we tell our divorce mediation clients, if one spouse wants a divorce, it will usually happen. It may just take longer and be more complicated than if both parties agree.
Legally, the divorce process begins when one spouse files a divorce complaint in court. And even if the other party never responds, the divorce can still go forward. This kind of “divorce by default” is doable, but it’s not in either party’s best interest because the agreement doesn’t include the kind of compromises that ensure that both people will follow through. It also involves expensive, time-consuming litigation.
I was cleaning up some old files this morning and came across the monthly newsletter we published back in January 2002. In it I had written about the story of two friends walking through the dessert. This story still resonates … Continue reading
Probably one of the hardest things a divorcing couple will have to do is tell the children. When parents decide to divorce it is only fair to be honest with the children. Depending on the family dynamics and the ages of the children some may already be well aware that there are problems, while others may not have a clue about what is going on.
Ideally it is best to gather together as a family to tell the children of an impending divorce or separation. There are a few reasons for doing it this way. First it presents a united front. It shows the children that even though you are getting divorced you still both love them and are united in your responsibility to them. It also allows an opportunity for the children to ask questions and get answers from both parents.
Even in the best of situations divorce is not easy, but if handled correctly parents can make the transition less stressful for the children and therefore themselves.
More information on Telling the Children
A great tool for younger children is the Sesame Workshop Little Children, Big Challenges: Divorce tool.
According to their website “Divorce is one of the most common major transitions in children’s lives, with 40 percent of all children experiencing the divorce of their parents. With Little Children, Big Challenges: Divorce, Sesame Street has created much-needed resources for families with young children ( ages 2 to 8 ) as they encounter the tough transitions that come with divorce.”
This tool is the collaboration of a national group of clinical psychologists and educators
The Child Support Enforcement Program is a partnership between the Federal, state and local governments. It is part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The program is authorized and defined by statute,Title IV-D of the Social Security … Continue reading
Thoughts for today…… “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” ~ Anonymous “I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again … Continue reading
If you’re considering divorce, hiring the right divorce attorney is crucial. Just how do you decide who is a “good” lawyer for you? What questions should you be asking when you interview them and what answers should you be looking … Continue reading
It’s about to happen again – a family milestone. This time it’s the birth a grandchild. This should be one of the most joyous experiences. Notice the emphasis on the word “should”? Unfortunately the reality is that the grandparents are … Continue reading
I read a press release this morning titled “Dating Websites Providing More Divorce Evidence Says Survey: Nation’s Top Matrimonial Lawyers Cite Match.com as Most Common Source” from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). It stated “If you are married, … Continue reading