A lot of times in divorce mediation, we find that one spouse is more ready to get divorced than the other. Sometimes, the reluctant spouse does not want to move forward because s/he wants to keep working on the relationship. Other times, s/he recognizes the problems with the marriage, but s/he is worried about the impact of divorce on the kids, or on the family's financial situation. Often, people are understandably nervous about the change and uncertainty that comes with divorce.
All of these feelings are normal and common. And couples shouldn't rush into getting divorced. Yet, as we tell our clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC, if one person wants a divorce, realistically, it is likely it will happen sooner or later.
So, what should the reluctant spouse do? Even if you do not want to get divorced, you need to participate actively in the process or you will likely wind up living with an agreement that does not work well for you. Participating often means considering the tough questions that are hard to grapple with – what kind of parenting plan do you want? Where are you going to live? What are you going to do with the house? -- so that you end up with a plan that you both can accept. You should make an effort not to opt out of the process just to get it over with, or so you don't have to think about the future
In divorce mediation, we recognize that moving ahead with divorce can be difficult and emotional. We work with our clients to ensure that the hard issues are addressed in a way that works for both spouses – the ready one and the less ready one.