Issue #48	October 2005
Know someone else going through the divorce process? If you think they could benefit from this newsletter feel free to pass it on in its entirety to them. "The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change;   The realist adjusts the sails."     - William Arthur Ward Don't forget to mention DivorceHQ.com when contacting the divorce professionals listed on the site.
In This Issue: Children's Bill of Rights How To Be A Good Client (and save on legal fees)     by Edward A. Brown, Esquire Read All About It! Divorce Humor New Attorney, Mediator and Divorce Services Members.
1. Children's Bill of Rights Marriage is an agreement between grown-ups. If that marriage ends in divorce that is between the grown-ups also. Divorce is a stressful time for the whole family. Even during this stressful time it is the responsibility of the parents to behave in a way that will guard their children from the adult conflicts of divorce. Children love both of their parents and want to be with them and free to love them equally. Below are some guidelines that parents should follow when the family is in the midst of a breakup. Please realize that this is NOT law, anywhere. The "Children's Bill of Rights" is not legally enforceable, but rather suggestions made to keep the best interest of the child a priority. The right not to be asked to "choose sides" or be put in a situation where I would have to take sides between my parents. The right to be treated as a person and not as a pawn, possession or a negotiating chip. The right to freely and privately communicate with both parents. The right not to be asked questions by one parent about the other. The right not to be a messenger. The right to express my feelings. The right to adequate visitation with the non-custodial parent which will best serve my needs and wishes. The right to love and have a relationship with both parents without being made to feel guilty. The right not to hear either parent say anything bad about the other. The right to the same educational opportunities and economic support that I would have had if my parents did not divorce. The right to have what is in my best interest protected at all times. The right to maintain my status as a child and not to take on adult responsibilities for the sake of the parent's well being. The right to request my parents seek appropriate emotional and social support when needed. The right to expect consistent parenting at a time when little in my life seems constant or secure. The right to expect healthy relationship modeling, despite the recent events. The right to expect the utmost support when taking the time and steps needed to secure a healthy adjustment to the current situation.
2. How To Be A Good Client (and save on legal fees)         by Edward A. Brown, Esquire Essentially, the best way to save on your legal expenses is to be a good client. While this is not intended to be a comprehensive list, and is not arranged in any particular order as to priority, a good client should; Follow "The Plan". If you and your attorney have agreed on a course of action, plan, or theory of the case, do not change direction, take any unilateral action, or simply fail to follow through without first discussing your change of heart with your attorney. Be a team player. Read what is sent to you in the mail, and respond. This office routinely passes along copies of all documentation which is generated on the client's case. Typically, we will not write you a separate letter on what opposing counsel has sent to us. Rather, we expect you to read what the opposing attorney has sent and to get back to our office with any requests for information, replies to settlement proposals, etc. Don't make your lawyer track you down to follow up on these sorts of things. Take responsibility. Deal with the office staff whenever possible. A law firm may bill for a paralegal assistant's time, but you will not be billed the same hourly rate charged by your attorney. Paralegal assistants have special training and, in many cases, a great deal of experience, and will often be able to help you without the lawyer getting involved. Of course, if you really need to speak with your attorney and he or she is not available, you should always leave a message. This office returns all of its calls as soon as possible, but it is helpful to know in advance why you called. Insist on monthly, itemized bills. Review your bills when they come in and, if possible, pay them on time. If you are confused about a billing item or disagree with a particular bill, bring it to your attorney's attention promptly. The same rule applies if you are unable to pay your bill-don't ignore the situation-call the office and explain. In many states (and in Maine) you may compel your attorney to participate in fee arbitration when there is a dispute about what is owed. Do not simply show up at your lawyer's office, expecting to see your lawyer, review your paperwork, or even pay your bill. Law offices are busy places, and they need to schedule client appointments to avoid haste on the part of the office staff, as well as delay and frustration for the client or visitor who "dropped in". Likewise, if you have made an appointment which you can no longer keep, you should let your attorney's office know as soon as possible. If you are unhappy with the way your case is progressing, let your attorney know. Your lawyer has probably been involved with cases like yours on many occasions, and may no longer fully appreciate how frustrated and powerless the first-timer might feel. Sometimes it is helpful to get a second opinion from another attorney (many attorneys will grant an initial review at no charge), but it is always best to go straight to the horse's mouth. By the same token, if you feel good about your case, let your lawyer know. Lawyers are people too. ABOUT THE AUTHOR With a general practice of law concentrating in matters concerning Divorce, Custody and Support. Mr. Brown is distinguished by his high level of personal service provided at reasonable costs to you. Aside from family law, his office handles a wide variety of litigation matters, including spousal torts, personal injury and sexual abuse claims as well as non litigation matters. Mr. Brown appears regularly in all local Courts, and is admitted to practice in both Maine and Massachusetts He can be contacted by phone at 207-721-1010 or or Visit Web Site
3. Read All About It! For online divorce books go to:DivorceHQ.com/onlinebooks.html
4. Humor Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.     - Unknown
5. Welcome to the following new         Attorneys, Mediators, Therapist/Counselors and Divorce Services members. California     Attorneys         Law Office of Douglas D. Durward - Saint Helena     Legal Document Assistance         California Divorce Council - Studio City Florida     Attorneys         Lori Barkus, P.A. - Miami     Mediators         Lori Barkus, P.A. - Miami Illinois     Attorneys         Law Offices of James M. Kelly - Palatine Maryland     Attorneys         Law and Dispute Resolution Office of Robert L. Baum - Rockville     Mediators         Law and Dispute Resolution Office of Robert L. Baum - Rockville Massachusetts     Mediators         The Law Office of Judith R. Kaplan - Hingham New Jersey     Attorneys         Law Office of Patricia A. Dulinski, Esq - Westfield     Mediators         Law & Mediation Office of Judith R. Kuskin - Summit         Family and Divorce Mediation - Ridgewood New York     Attorneys         Marti Granizo-O'Hare, Esq. - New York     Mediators         Marti Granizo-O'Hare, Esq. - New York
To find an ATTORNEY in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/attydir.shtml To find a MEDIATOR in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/mediatordir.shtml To find OTHER DIVORCE RELATED SERVICES such as Family counselors and Therapist, Divorce Planners, Financial Planners, Paralegals and Accountants go to: www.divorcehq.com/servicedir.shtml To find Collaborative Organization in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/collaborative_orgs.shtml To find a SUPPORT GROUP in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.shtml
Remember, we are not attorneys, therefore we can not answer legal questions. If you have a legal question, visit our Attorney, Mediator or Service Directories for the appropriate professional in your state.