Issue #46	June 2005
Know someone else going through the divorce process? If you think they could benefit from this newsletter feel free to pass it on in it's entirety to them. "The crisis of yesterday is the joke of tomorrow"     - Jean Kerr Don't forget to mention DivorceHQ.com when contacting the divorce professionals listed on the site.
In This Issue: Cheating Spouses Tips For Testifying In Court     by John K. Grubb, Esquire Read All About It! Divorce Humor New Attorney, Mediator and Divorce Services Members.
1. Cheating Spouses According to a survey of 37,000 responders to drphil.com, oprah.com, and "O" magazine's February 2004 issue surveys 41% said they have cheated on someone, while 68% said they have been cheated on. Below are some of the other questions and answers from the surveys: Have you ever cheated on someone?     Yes 41%     No 59% Have you ever been cheated on?     Yes 68%     No 32% Would you be unfaithful if you knew your partner would never find out?     Yes 8%     No 92% The following statistics were found in the Spring/Summer 2003 issue of "Men's Health Best Life" magazine: Husbands who admit to cheating on a spouse     1 in 20 (5%) Wives who admit to cheating on a spouse     1 in 22 (4.55%) Number of guys who take off their wedding rings when they go out without their wives     1 in 3 Percentage of cheating men who get caught     80% Percentage of couple who preserve their marriage after an affair     64% Of those couples who remain married despite an affair, what percentage later describe the marriage as unhappy or empty?     78% Experts say that the reasons people cheat on their spouses generally fall into two categories. One reason has to do with the marriage. Either the couple has become emotionally disconnected in some way or the sex isn't satisfying to one partner. The other main reason has nothing to do with the couple. Rather, one partner may want the excitement of an affair, needs an ego boost, or just feels entitled to have more than one sexual partner. Infidelity is damaging because it shatters basic notion of the security we expect in a marriage. After the betrayal of an affair, the traumatized spouse often questions everything they previously trusted and depended on. However, just because there has been marital infidelity doesn't mean the marriage is over. Couples who work together to understand the vulnerability in themselves and the relationship that led to the affair can come out of it with a stronger marriage than they ever had before.
2. Tips For Testifying In Court         by John K. Grubb, Esquire When you filed your divorce, you thought you and your spouse would be able to agree upon everything, and you would get a divorce as soon as the minimum waiting period passed. Of course, one of the reasons you wanted a divorce is that your spouse is a very uncooperative person. And of course, once you started the divorce, your spouse showed his or her uncooperative nature again, has refused to settle anything. The only way out is to actually go to court on your divorce. You receive a call from your attorney advising you that the case is set for trial on a certain date. All of a sudden, you are facing the prospect of having to actually testify about the peculiar facts of your case. Of course, you know that the Judge will administer an oath to you along the lines of "do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" You also know it is perjury to go into court and lie. You would not do that. However, you have never testified before in court. You do not have any idea what to expect. Here are some very practical tips for testifying in court: Listen to the question. Make certain you understand the question. If you do not understand the question, ask the attorney to repeat the question. Repeat the question in your head. Answer the question with the shortest answer consistent with the truth, and shut up. Do not volunteer information. Do not get angry. Answer the question truthfully, even if the answer hurts you. Watch out for the compound question. Watch out for the question that assumes facts that are not true. Watch out for questions that give a wrongful summation of the facts. Do not characterize your testimony. Try to avoid using absolute words, like "no", "never", and "all". Avoid getting boxed in with "everything you remember", or "everything you know". If you live in a city that has a number of different courts, I strongly suggest that you take a day off, go to the courthouse, and watch several trials. I do suggest that you do not go in the courtroom before the judge that you will actually appearing before, in your case. Instead, watch a criminal case, a personal injury case, probate case, or a divorce case in another court. It is best to find a court that is actually conducting a trial, whether there is a jury, or a bench trial, or the judge is conducting a formal hearing, with the witness on the witness stand, counsel at counsel tables, and different witnesses. You cannot remake the facts of your case. However, by diligent preparation before you go to trial, you will enhance the probability that the court will look favorable upon the facts of your case. ABOUT THE AUTHOR John K. Grubb, a Jurisprudence Doctor from South Texas College of Law in Houston, is licensed to practice law in all State Courts in Texas, the United States District Court for the Southern District of Texas, and the United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit. He is 59 years old and has practiced in Houston since 1972. He is married, has a daughter who is a doctor in the Navy, a son in the seventh grade, and a son in third grade. He can be contacted by phone at (713) 877-8800 or or Visit Web Site
3. Read All About It! The Child Support Handbook This book is an excellent resource for mothers or fathers who are either receiving or paying child support. The child support decisions that are made during and after divorce or separation will dictate your children's future, which makes the time spent reading this book absolutely invaluable. This resource will ease your uncertainty and let you regain some confidence and emotional stability throughout this extremely difficult experience. Featuring... 96 Frequently Asked Questions About Child Support. State-by-State Child Support Laws and Principles. Complete Uniform Interstate Family Support Act. Comprehensive Divorce Glossary. 10 Individual Worksheets/Forms. For all online books including this one go to: DivorceHQ.com/divorcebooks.html
4. Humor A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous to some and none of us realize the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."     - Unknown
5. Welcome to the following new         Attorneys, Mediators, Therapist/Counselors and Divorce Services members. Arizona     Attorneys         Monica H. Donaldson, P.C. - Chandler California     Attorneys         Law Office of Robin J. Krane - Angels Camp         Law Offices of David L. Rukstalis, Jr. - Los Angeles     Therapist/Counselors         Essential Focus Consulting - Tustin Colorado     Divorce Services         The Elledge Group, Inc. - Highlands Ranch     Mediators         The Elledge Group, Inc. - Highlands Ranch     Therapist/Counselors         The Elledge Group, Inc. - Highlands Ranch Florida     Attorneys         Jerome P. Ventura, P.A. - Pembroke Pines         The Divorce Center - New Port Richey         Law Office of Dennis J. Plews - Sarasota     Mediators         Jerome P. Ventura, P.A. - Pembroke Pines Georgia     Mediators         ACCORD Mediation, Arbitration, and Conflict Resolution - Atlanta Maryland     Attorneys         Belli, Weil & Grozbean, P.C. - Rockville         Brodsky, Greenblatt & Renehan, Chartered - Gaithersburg Massachusetts     Attorneys         DeBruyckere, Petrillo & Fulton, PLLC - North Andover Michigan     Attorneys         Paynter & Associates - Farmington Hills     Support Groups         H.U.M.C. Divorce Care Highland United Methodist Church - Minnesota     Attorneys         Minnesota Lawyers - Eden Prairie Missouri     Attorneys         Margaret "Pegi" Price - Clayton New Jersey     Attorneys         Jeffrey R. Brown, Attorney at Law - East Brunswick         The Law Offices of Richard Obuch - Elizabeth New York     Attorneys         Keith, Shapiro & Ford - Garden City     Mediators         William K. Hoefer, Esq. - Bronx Ohio     Attorneys         Walter & Haverfield LLP - Cleveland         Lindner & Weaver, LLP - Westlake Oregon     Attorneys         The Aurora Law Office - Aurora Pennsylvania     Attorneys         Law Offices of Gordon Erdenberger, Esquire - Doylestown         Lisa Marie Vari & Associates - Pittsburgh         Law Office of Dawne A. Casselle - Allentown Texas     Attorneys         John K. Grubb & Associates, P.C. - Houston         Kelly & Cherry, PLLC - Dallas     Mediators         Costello Professional Mediators - McKinney         Mediation Solutions - Houston Utah     Mediators         Mountain States Mediation Services - Smithfield
To find an ATTORNEY in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/attydir.shtml To find a MEDIATOR in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/mediatordir.shtml To find OTHER DIVORCE REALTED SERVICES such as Family counselors and Therapist, Divorce Planners, Financial Planners, Paralegals and Accountants go to: www.divorcehq.com/servicedir.shtml To find Collaborative Organization in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/collaborative_orgs.shtml To find a SUPPORT GROUP in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.shtml
Remember, we are not attorneys, therefore we can not answer legal questions. If you have a legal question, visit our Attorney, Mediator or Service Directories for the appropriate professional in your state.