Issue #45	April 2005
Know someone else going through the divorce process? If you think they could benefit from this newsletter feel free to pass it on in it's entirety to them. "Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left."     - Jean Kerr "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."     - Albert Einstein Don't forget to mention DivorceHQ.com when contacting the divorce professionals listed on the site.
In This Issue: Pre-Nuptial Agreements Keeping It Real: Mediation's Power In Spousal Maintenance (Alimony) Cases     by Lawrence F. King, J.D., Colorado Attorney-Mediator Read All About It! Divorce Humor New Attorney, Mediator and Divorce Services Members.
1. Pre-Nuptial Agreements A pre nuptial agreement, also referred to as pre marital or antenuptial agreement is an agreement where a couple decide on how they will deal with their assets, debts, income and expenses during the marriage and in the event of a divorce. It is a way of protecting pre marital assets. The rationale people have in wanting such pre-nuptial agreements is to try to ensure that their assets remain theirs if the marriage breaks down; to provide that their assets, or at least a large portion of them, go to their children in the event of death; and to work out arrangements for matters that may become problems after the marriage. If you decide that a pre-nuptial agreement is the way to go then you should make sure that it is valid. How do you do that? First, make full and complete written disclosure of each others' assets and liabilities. Secondly, make sure that the terms are not unreasonable, and would be considered fair, under the circumstances, and finally give each other a reasonable opportunity to review the proposed agreement with independent legal counsel well before the wedding. Laws in each state vary when it comes to pre-nuptial agreements, but generally speaking, the agreement must be in writing, be signed by both spouses, be free from fraud, duress, and entered into freely and voluntarily Remember, a pre nuptial agreement is a contract, therefore it should be reviewed by an attorney before it is signed. This is not the time to try to save a few bucks on attorney fees. It is best to have separate attorneys for the purpose of a pre nuptial agreement.
2. Keeping It Real: Mediation's Power In Spousal Maintenance (Alimony) Cases         by Lawrence F. King, J.D., Colorado Attorney-Mediator Determining spousal support arrangements ("alimony" in federal tax jargon and "spousal maintenance" in many states' and Colorado divorce law) is widely perceived as one of the most challenging of issues in divorce. Many people underestimate mediation's power in spousal support cases, because of the mistaken belief that a collaborative approach will be ineffective in resolving what may be a complex divorce planning issue. In fact, however, mediation offers powerful opportunities to design workable spousal support arrangements for divorcing couples. Why? Mediation allows participants to arrive at common assumptions, consider consistent data, and then focus their problem solving on the real issue of each party's available after-divorce cash flow. Litigation's Abstract Bartering Litigation of spousal support requires divorce attorneys to manage and prove much information, including post-divorce income and expenses of both parties, and - when they have minor children, the details of their parenting plan. Divorce tax law ordinarily complicates these tasks because spousal support payments are usually deductible by the payor spouse and must be reported as income by the recipient spouse. Especially given its adversarial nature, litigation often allows little time to reach agreements as to basic assumptions of the parties' after-divorce living circumstances. Without common assumptions, a mutually beneficial arrangement including consideration of taxes cannot be explored. As a result, in litigation, divorcing parties often negotiate with the hollow exchange of payment proposals ("$1,000 month!" or "no, $400 month!"). In this "payment auction" and bartering, neither party really understands the impact of a given level of spousal maintenance (and child support) on their own household's after-tax cash flow, or on the other party's cash flow! Mediation's Ability to Provide Consistent Data In contrast, an accomplished family or divorce mediator, or a single neutral expert used in mediation, employs a cooperative approach with consistent approaches and common assumptions - to reach an understanding of the parties' likely after-divorce financial circumstances. For example, in our office at Divorce Resolutions®, Colorado Center for Divorce Mediation™, and with both parties participating, standardized software (FinPlan's DivorcePlanner®) or a neutral expert's materials are used to estimate the impact of support payments on after-divorce taxes. Our clients then consider the resulting cash flow, often in several different payment scenarios with their underlying assumptions (again, assumptions the parties have collaboratively agreed to consider). For the full online version of Mr. King's's article Mediation's Focus On the Real Issue of Available Cash Flow and his conclusions go to: divorcehq.com/articles/keepingitreal.html ABOUT THE AUTHOR Denver, Colorado family lawyer-mediator Lawrence F. King, J.D. is a full-time divorce mediator with Divorce Resolutions®, Colorado Center for Divorce MediationTM. For more information, visit the Center's award-winning Colorado divorce resources web site, with its with free Colorado divorce tools and forms, "Best of the Net" child custody and parenting plans resources, frequently asked divorce mediation questions, and Colorado divorce laws news and information. Larry can be contacted by phone at (303) 650-1750, or by E-mail.
3. Read All About It! Divorce - No Children Get your answers to all of your questions from Divorce - No Children, Including: What is Mediation, and can you use that process? What is the difference between Mediation, Arbitration, Collaborative Divorce, Negotiation and Litigation? Is marital fault an issue in awarding custody? Can your spouse get a divorce even if you don't want one? What property do you get to keep? Who gets the house? Is fault an issue in dividing property? How do pension rights get divided? Who gets the credit card debt? How is Alimony calculated? What are the tax aspects of divorce? What should you look for in an attorney? What will a divorce cost you? What about property that you had before your marriage? How do you decide how much the house or business is worth?
If you are interested in books that you can download directly from the Internet, we have found those for you as well. Simply go to: DivorceHQ.com/onlinebooks.html The Internet is an outstanding source to find books on a wide range of divorce topics. We have searched the Internet for you and have come up with a diversified collection of books that may help you through this trying time. These books are for men, women and children. There are books for each stage from beginning the divorce to recovery. Take a look at: DivorceHQ.com/divorcebooks.html
4. Humor An ex-spouse is like an inflamed appendix.... they cause a lot of pain and suffering, but after it's removed you find out you actually didn't really need it anyway.     - Unknown Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.     - Unknown
5. Welcome to the following new         Attorneys, Mediators, Therapist/Counselors and Divorce Services members. California     Attorneys         Law Offices of Leigh E. Johnson - Richmond     Collaborative Org         Coalition for Collaborative Divorce - Calabasas Colorado     Mediators         BRK Solutions - Englewood Minnesota     Attorneys         The Law Office of M. E. Ludt, LLC - Roseville         Felix Law Office, P. A. - Burnsville Missouri     Attorneys         The Benjamin Law Firm, LLC - Harrisonville     Mediators         The Benjamin Law Firm, LLC - Harrisonville New Jersey     Mediators         Divorce Mediation of New Jersey, LLC - East Brunswick New York     Divorce Planners         Durante & Waters, LLC - Brewster     Mediators         New York Divorce Mediation - Stony Brook Texas     Mediators         Erin K. McDonough - Round Rock
To find an ATTORNEY in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/attydir.shtml To find a MEDIATOR in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/mediatordir.shtml To find OTHER DIVORCE REALTED SERVICES such as Family counselors and Therapist, Divorce Planners, Financial Planners, Paralegals and Accountants go to: www.divorcehq.com/servicedir.shtml To find a SUPPORT GROUP in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.shtml
Remember, we are not attorneys, therefore we can not answer legal questions. If you have a legal question, visit our Attorney, Mediator or Service Directories for the appropriate professional in your state.