Issue #44	February 2005
Know someone else going through the divorce process? If you think they could benefit from this newsletter feel free to pass it on in it's entirety to them. "The two important things I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavor is taking the first step, making the first decision."     - Robyn Davidson "Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely."     - Rodin, French sculptor, known for his "Thinker" Don't forget to mention DivorceHQ.com when contacting the divorce professionals listed on the site.
In This Issue: After the Divorce Mediating A Child Removal Case     by Howard Goldstein, Esquire Read All About It! Divorce Humor New Attorney, Mediator and Divorce Services Members.
1. After the Divorce All the papers are signed and your officially divorced. There are still some things you should do so that nothing comes back to haunt you down the road. Here are a few things you will want to be sure to take care of: Make sure to transfer your retirement assets in accordance with any QDRO. Keep track the re-registration on retirement and investment assets (including partnerships). You want only your name on the accounts as soon as possible after the divorce documents are signed. It your divorce stipulates that there be life insurance policies in place be sure to verify that they are in effect and make sure they remain current. Be sure any asset that was registered in both your names has been changed according to what is stipulated in your divorce, such as your car registration or brokerage accounts. Let your creditors know that you are divorced and that your ex is now responsible for certain debts. Ask them to let you know if they aren't paying, so that your credit rating doesn't take a hit. Remember, if they were joint debts, because your divorce settlement states your ex is responsible that does not necessarily release you from the obligation if your ex doesn't pay. Meet with a financial advisor and make sure your investments are right for your risk tolerance. Redo estate planning documents, such as your personal will, trusts, Durable Power of Attorney, and your Directive to Physicians. Request a written document from your attorney and other experts showing the portion of their fees that is deductible under IRS code Section 212. Assemble your tax returns (and supporting documentation) from during the marriage and keep them in a safe place for at least three years. Prepare income-tax estimates with your accountant, so that you can begin making quarterly tax payments. Bypassing this important step could cost you IRS fines and penalties when you file your return. Keep good records of child-support payments so that if there is any type of mix up or you don't receive the correct amount you have a log what you have received. If you have custody of any children, keep good records of their expenses as well. That way you can document the real costs of raising the children in the event your ex tries to modify the child support agreement. If the settlement has not addressed the issue of paying the costs of divorce, establish a payment plan that is agreeable to your creditors and fits into your budget. It is important that you tie up all the loose ends. At the very least it will give you some peace of mind.
2. Mediating A Child Removal Case         by Howard Goldstein, Esquire (Reprinted from the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation Quarterly, Vol.2. No.1 Winter 2003.) Among the most wrenching of all post-divorce family disputes is the conflict that arises when one parent feels compelled to move out of state with the children; hence the term "removal case." According to G.L. c. 208, § 30: "A minor child of divorced parents who is a native of or has resided five years within this commonwealth and over whose custody and maintenance a probate court has jurisdiction shall not, if of suitable age to signify his consent, be removed out of this commonwealth without such consent, or, if under that age, without the consent of both parents, unless the court upon cause shown otherwise orders...." As is often the case, the law is wide open to interpretation. What is a "suitable age" to signify consent, and what is "cause shown?" In Yannas v. Frondistou-Yannis, 395 Mass. 704 (1985), the Supreme Judicial Court held that "[i]n this process the first consideration is whether there is a good reason for the move, a 'real advantage.'" The parent seeking to remove the child must establish "a good, sincere reason...." (Yannas at 711.) The "Real Advantage Test" however is no less subject to interpretation than the statute. Ultimately, parents who cannot agree on these arrangements will find themselves in court. Courts must consider a variety of factors, including whether the quality of the child's life will be improved by the change and to any improvements in the quality of the custodial parent's life. The court must also assess the interest of the custodial parent in moving, including the soundness of the reason for moving and the presence or absence of a motive to deprive the non-custodial parent of reasonable visitation. The fact that visitation by the non-custodial parent will be changed to his or her disadvantage cannot be controlling. Given the state of our law it is likely that the primary custodial parent (for ease of reading I will refer to the custodial parent as the mother) will be permitted to leave the state with a minor child, absent some evidence that the move is being made primarily to defeat the non-custodial (hereafter, father's) parent's visitation rights. This seems especially true when an unemployed parent is seeking work out of state - an all too common occurrence in the current economic climate. So what is there to mediate? In many ways the mediation of a child removal case is no different from any other mediation. Both parents understand that if they fail to agree their only recourse will be an imposed, litigated settlement. Litigation of removal cases can be especially harmful to post-divorce families. The financial expense and emotional bitterness of litigating of a child removal case compels a mediator to stress that the parent who "wins" in court will have won a Pyrrhic victory. It is hard enough for parents to manage long distance relationships in the best of circumstances. The rancor created by protracted litigation only makes it worse. It is this reality that makes mediation an appealing alternative in removal cases. In many ways the mediation of a child removal case is no different from any other mediation. Both parents understand that if they fail to agree their only recourse will be an imposed, litigated settlement. Litigation of removal cases can be especially harmful to post-divorce families. The financial expense and emotional bitterness of litigating of a child removal case compels a mediator to stress that the parent who "wins" in court will have won a Pyrrhic victory. It is hard enough for parents to manage long distance relationships in the best of circumstances. The rancor created by protracted litigation only makes it worse. It is this reality that makes mediation an appealing alternative in removal cases. For the full online version of Mr. Goldstein's article including the course taken and other considerations go to: divorcehq.com/articles/childremoval.html ABOUT THE AUTHOR Howard Goldstein is trained mediator and a partner with the law firm of Rosenberg, Freeman & Goldstein. He has been providing representation in family law and divorce since 1973 and is on the Board of Governors of the Massachusetts Academy of Trial Attorneys. He can be contacted by phone at (617)964-7000 or or Visit Web Site
3. Read All About It! Getting Apart Together: The Couple's Guide to a Fair Divorce or Separation by Martin A. Kranitz, Philip M. Stahl Synopsis: This book will help you get through the practical issues which arise in separation/divorce, it also provides work sheets and more importantly, examples (scenarios) of what other people have done to handle these issues. It was written by a divorce mediator with over 20 years experience.
The Internet is an outstanding source to find books on a wide range of divorce topics. We have searched the Internet for you and have come up with a diversified collection of books that may help you through this trying time. These books are for men, women and children. There are books for each stage from beginning the divorce to recovery. Take a look at: DivorceHQ.com/divorcebooks.html If you are interested in books that you can download directly from the Internet, we have found those for you as well. Simply go to: DivorceHQ.com/onlinebooks.html
4. Humor "A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument."     - Unknown Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.     - Unknown
5. Welcome to the following new         Attorneys, Mediators, Therapist/Counselors and Divorce Services members. Arizona     Attorneys         NRG - Nirenstein, Ruotolo & Gonzalez, P.L.C - Scottsdale Illinois     Attorneys         Walton Law Offices - Oakbrook Terrace New Jersey     Attorneys         The Law Office of David Perry Davis, Esq., PC - Princeton Pennsylvania     Attorneys         Lee A. Schwartz, Esquire - Philadelphia     Mediators         Lee A. Schwartz, Esquire - Philadelphia Utah     Mediators         Divorce Mediation Institute of Utah - Sandy Washington     Attorneys         Law Offices of Raj Bains, P.S.C. - Kent
To find an ATTORNEY in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/attydir.shtml To find a MEDIATOR in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/mediatordir.shtml To find OTHER DIVORCE REALTED SERVICES such as Family counselors and Therapist, Divorce Planners, Financial Planners, Paralegals and Accountants go to: www.divorcehq.com/servicedir.shtml To find a SUPPORT GROUP in your state go to: www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.shtml
Remember, we are not attorneys, therefore we can not answer legal questions. If you have a legal question, visit our Attorney, Mediator or Service Directories for the appropriate professional in your state.