DIVORCE HQ Newsletter Archives

DIVORCE HEADQUARTERS NEWSLETTER Issue #32 February 2003

Know someone else going through the process? If you think they could benefit from this newsletter feel free to pass it on in it's entirety to them.

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start now and make a brand new ending."
~*~ Carl Bard ~*~

Don't forget to mention DivorceHQ.com when contacting the divorce professionals listed on the site.

In this Issue:

Going to Court
You Absolutely Have The Right To Represent Yourself In A Divorce Matter
By John A. Patti, Esquire
Read All About It
Divorce Humor

1. Going to Court

I was recently reading posts from a divorce newsgroup that I belong to and one issue kept coming up. The first "court date." For some, a divorce is the first time they are in a courtroom. I know for me it was, and let me tell you it was scary! I think it is the unknown that is the most frightening thing. Hopefully if you are about to go to court you will have an attorney. If so, you should speak to him or her before hand to know what to expect. Either way, here are a few tips that may help you out.

Dress appropriately. While you do not need to make a fashion statement, you should dress in a way that shows the judge you respect his or her courtroom and the situation. Jeans and tee shirts are never appropriate, nor is provocative clothing.

Speak only when you are spoken to. Never speak to or make comments to your opposition when you are before the Judge.

Do not make gestures, faces or roll your eyes when the judge or your spouse's attorney is speaking. Judges see this and do not appreciate it.

Do not bring your new girlfriend or boyfriend to court. It may inflame the situation and it just does not look good for you.

For more information on going to court, you can visit our "Courtroom Tips" page.

The following is an excerpt from an article submitted by one of our professional members. For full text of all articles visit Divorcehq.com/articles.html

2. You Absolutely Have The Right To Represent Yourself In A Divorce Matter
by John A. Patti, Esquire

There is no question about it, each person has the right to represent him or herself pro se litigant in a matrimonial matter in the State of New Jersey. In fact, there are many books on the subject of representing oneself in a Court of Law and forgoing the use of attorneys. In the last decade there has been a trend toward people representing themselves and employing services such as the divorce centers. These particular centers advertise themselves as a low cost alternative to a simple divorce in the State of New Jersey. This may come as a shock to many readers, but I recommend that a person use either the services of a "divorce center" type of business or represent themselves ONLY IF the issues of the case are either incredibly simple or of little or no consequence whatsoever. This becomes apparent in an extremely short term marriage where there is no debt, no assets, no children and no issues of alimony. It is in those particular circumstances, and those circumstances only, where, in my opinion, it would be appropriate for a person to represent him or herself in a divorce action.

First off, there is a plethora of case law on each particular issue and formulas with regard to calculations on many issues. A pro se litigant is held to the same standards as an attorney and is given no special help from the Court or when proceeding on behalf of him or herself. Therefore, that same litigant would be expected to know what the formulas are and advocate what the formula and calculations should be. This could amount to a mistake in thousands of dollars if calculated incorrectly. For example, when calculating a child support guideline, the inadvertence to calculate medical insurance premiums within the child support guidelines can amount to a mistake of hundreds of dollars per month. Calculate that mistake over the eighteen year period of a child and you could have paid for a team of attorneys to represent you in that particular hearing. That is why when I counsel potential clients on the phone, the old Shakespearean saying from the Merchant of Venice of not being "penny wise and pound foolish," often crosses my lips. While it may be true you could be saving sometimes thousands of dollars by not hiring an attorney and representing yourself, the risk is that you can lose thousands of dollars in the long run if you make a simple mistake such as failing to calculate insurance expenses, failing to calculate child support on other children not of the marriage, or failing to calculate alimony payments, to name just a few.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John A. Patti possess the academic credentials, strong community ties, and is passionately committed to the pursuit of excellence, communication and the demonstration of the strictest personal and professional ethics as well as the utmost concern for his clients.

3. Read All About It
Are you considering divorce? Just filed for divorce? Has your spouse just told you they want a divorce? Maybe you are already divorced. Having the legalities behind you does not mean all your divorce issues are resolved; in fact, some of them may just be starting. Whatever stage you are in you are probably looking for information on the subject. Sir Francis Bacon said, "Knowledge is power."

The Internet is an outstanding source to find books on a wide range of divorce topics. We have searched the Internet for you and have come up with a diversified collection of books that may help you through this trying time. These books are for men, women and children. There are books for each stage from beginning the divorce to recovery.
Take a look. http://www.divorcehq.com/divorcebooks.html

If you are interested in books that you can download directly from the Internet, we have found those for you as well. http://www.divorcehq.com/onlinebooks.html

4. HUMOR

Make love, not war. --Hell, do both, get married! - Unknown