DIVORCE HEADQUARTERS NEWSLETTER       Issue #31           January 2003 Know someone else going through the process? If you think they could benefit from this newsletter feel free to pass it on in it's entirety to them. "Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over." ~*~ F. Scott Fitzgerald ~*~ Don't forget to mention DivorceHQ.com when contacting the divorce professionals listed on the site. In this Issue: That Most Dreaded Holiday Collaborative Negotiation: A New Approach To Family Law     by Hal D. Bartholomew, C.F.L.S., Fellow A.A.M.L. Divorce Humor 1. That Most Dreaded Holiday If you're divorced, getting divorced, or heck maybe even those lucky enough to be happily married this upcoming holiday is probably one of the most dreaded. That's right, Valentines Day. So just where did this holiday come from. According to the History Channel' web site, Valentine's day is shrouded in mystery. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. Blah, blah, blah. Now let's cut to the chase... According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia. Call me a cynic, I don't know but to me it sounds like it' a big money maker for the card companies, the candy makers and the florists! And you thought it was all about love. The following is an excerpt from an article submitted by one of our professional members. For full text of all articles visit Divorcehq.com/articles.html 2. Collaborative Negotiation: A New Approach To Family Law         by Hal D. Bartholomew, C.F.L.S., Fellow A.A.M.L. Judges, attorneys and divorcing couples are increasingly dissatisfied with the stress level, high costs and emotional wreckage that too often occur in the adversarial process in family law. The most popular alternative dispute resolution process has been mediation. Now a new approach is sweeping the nation as an alternative to litigation. Collaborative law started with Stu Webb, an attorney in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1990. Webb, a family law attorney, was frustrated that he was not helping his clients. He thought the adversarial system was tearing his clients apart and he did not want to be part of such a system. He announced that he would no longer go to court and would only represent clients in a participatory negotiation process aimed solely at creative settlements. If the process broke down, he would refer his clients to litigation counsel and he would withdraw. In his first two years he handled 99 cases with only four unable to reach full settlement. Collaborative Law is a conflict resolution process guided by the uncompromising principle of a non-litigation approach to problem solving. Going to court is not an option for resolving differences. Eliminating the threat of litigation with its rancor and divisiveness creates a profound change for participants and their attorneys. Cooperating, information sharing and creative problem solving replace suspicion, fear and mistrust. The collaborative law model allows attorneys to leave behind the negative characteristics of the adjudicatory model which are emotionally and physically destructive to attorneys and their clients alike. The ground rules for the process are: A pledge by attorneys and parties alike to commit themselves to avoiding litigation. Agreement by the parties to provide full, honest and voluntary disclosure of all information. Employment of neutral experts, jointly retained by the spouses. A process of informal 4-way meetings among the participants. Replacement of counsel if the clients elect litigation or if either party thwarts the collaborative process. Nothing prohibits any party unilaterally, and without reason, to terminate their role in the collaborative process and proceed along the more traditional path of individual representation and court intervention. A major disincentive to litigate is built into the process by the provisions that present counsel will withdraw and not represent the party if the client elects litigation. Collaborative counsel will also withdraw from participation if his or her client refuses to follow collaborative guidelines or abandons the process. For the online version of Mr. Bartholomew's article including the process and a client's control go to: http://www.divorcehq.com/articles/collabnegotiation.html ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mr. Hal Bartholomew is a founding partner of one of Sacramento's largest family law firms. They offer a combination of over 50 years in the legal field with expertise in the areas of legal and tax aspects of divorce, mediation services, child custody and support issues. He has strong ties to the community and the profession, and lectures frequently on the subjects of family law, custody and mediation to professional and community-based organizations He can be contacted by phone at (916)455-5200 or or Visit Web Site 3. HUMOR Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. -- Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. - A conversation between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill