DIVORCE HQ Newsletter Archives

DIVORCE HEADQUARTERS NEWSLETTER Issue #14, AUGUST 2001

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Food for Thought

Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.-
St Francis of Assisi

In this Issue:

Overnight Visitation in Jail
Collaborative Law: Trust Based Divorce
by Carroll Straus, Esquire
Divorce Humor

1. Overnight Visitation in Jail

A father in Otoe County, Nebraska may face time in jail if he continues to deny his ex wife overnight visitation with their six year old son. The problem seems to be that the overnight visitation would take place in a prison. Kimberly Faust is currently serving two life sentances for murder. In July, Bruce and Kimberly Faust agreed to a parenting schedule in which Kimberly Faust's parenting times run every other week from 8 p.m. Thursday to 8 p.m. Friday during the summer and 8 p.m. Friday to 8 p.m. Saturday during the school year.

Kimberly Faust has charged her ex-husband Bruce Faust with civil contempt for not allowing the couple's youngest son, age 6, to visit her overnight at the York Correctional Facility. A judge continued the case until August 27th giving Bruce Faust time to confer with a court appointed attorney. The judge is quoted as saying "That is agreed to by the parties, I do expect the parties to abide by their agreement."

Bruce Faust said he wasn't aware that his youngest son would be staying overnight when the agreement was made in court following Kimberly Faust's May conviction.

If you are about to sign a separation or divorce agreement let this be a lesson to you. Be sure you know every detail before you agree to anything.

The following is an excerpt from an article submitted by one of our professional members. For full text of all articles visit http://Divorcehq.com/articles.html

2. Collaborative Law: Trust Based Divorce
by Carroll Straus, Esquire

The word is out-- adversarial divorce law is toxic to families. Even the leaders of the organized Family Law Section of the State Bar (main attorney group in California) are saying so quite bluntly. (Yes, Virginia, there is a God!!) There is a move afoot all across the country to shift methods and processes and goals-- to a milieu based on trust which treats the family as the client.

Historically, divorce law was based an English property law. It was "disfavored" and difficult. Now, "no fault" laws are common, and it is unnecessary to hire a "co-respondent" to fake adultery to reach legal "relief."

Today, however, many couples are divorcing and many lawyers see that the adversarial system is still dysfunctional, even without blame based on alleged "cheating" "abandonment" or"cruelty" . it is polarized and erodes trust, eats up funds which could be utilized for the family, and models maladaptive (not to say immature and harmful) behavior for children-- and may even scar them for life.

As a result, attorneys all across the United States are embracing this -- learning trust and team work. We call it collaborative law or Collaborative Divorce(sm). It utilizes as many divorce professionals as are needed to create a workable solution for the family unit. In this model, in addition to "solutioneering" there is a stipulation -- formal agreement-- that there will be no resort to the court for"default" solutions, and if the collaborative team process breaks down--which it seldom does-- the entire collaborative team withdraws, and litigation specialists proceed. Collaboration usually saves tens of thousands of dollars. Of course, this is attracting national media attention, and I predict it will be the preferred choice for a majority of couples when the word gets out.

There is only one touchstone--a commitment to working things through. If this sounds right to you, do some online research. If it fits you or someone you know, I invite you join the new millenium in shifting the paradigm for divorce law.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Carroll Straus has been an attorney since 1983 and is dedicated to non-adversarial resolution of conflict. She currently practices collaborative law only, working creatively with clients from many walks of life as a mediator, a business consultant, a coach, and/or transactional attorney for consumers with legal problems.

3. HUMOR

One of our site visitors recently submitted the following to be added to our Humor Page:

What is the definition of a faithful husband? One who's alimony checks arrive on time.