DIVORCE HEADQUARTERS NEWSLETTER       Issue #6,     December 2000 I heard this one the other day and it really made me stop to think... "Your actions are speaking so loud, I can't hear your words". It seems as if during a divorce everything we say or do is under a microscope, with the slightest word or action getting blown out of proportion. With this in mind, always think before you act or speak. It will be better for everyone involved. In this Issue: Holiday Stress Property Division     by Maury D. Beaulier, Esquire Divorces in the News Divorce Humor 1. Holiday Stress Avoid the extra stress that a divorce puts on everyone during the holidays. Keep in mind that it's supposed to be a happy time, especially for the kids. It's hard for the kids to enjoy their holiday when their parents are fighting over the visitation schedule. Just as there is half as much money when a household is split, there is half as much time available. Try not to make unreasonable requests for time, on the other hand, don't deny a request for time "just because". Work around family traditions when figuring a holiday visitation schedule. Also remember, the fact that your child is no longer young doesn't mean he or she won't feel stress over how much time they spend with each of their parents during the holidays. Adult children of divorce are still often conflicted during the holidays. Last but not least, try not to overindulge your child with extravagant gifts. Let your actions, not how much you can give them show them how much you love them. Food for Thought..... The $20 Bill A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200 people, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 bill to one of you, but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up, then asked, "Does anyone still want it?" Hands still went up."Well," he continued, "what if I do this?" Then he dropped it on the ground and stomped on it with his shoe. Now crumpled up and dirty, he picked it up and asked, "Now who wants it?" Still the hands kept going up. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson...No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it, because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20 dollars." The speaker continued, "Many times in our lives, we are crumpled up, dropped and stepped on, by the circumstances that come our way, and the things that happen in our lives...we feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value - dirty or clean, dropped or stepped on -- you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or whom we know, but in WHO WE ARE". The following are excerpts from articles submitted by our professional members. For full text of the article visit http://Divorcehq.com/articles.html 2. PROPERTY DIVISION               by Maury D. Beaulier, Esquire In any divorce case, there is usually a division of assets and a determination of each person's responsibility for debts. Most states, are considered 'marital property' states. This means that any asset acquired and any debt incurred during the marriage is the asset or debt of both parties. THE MARITAL ESTATE In a divorce, the parties divide up what is called the 'Marital Estate.' The marital estate includes any assets or debts that were acquired during the marriage. Each spouse is generally deemed to have an equal interest in marital assets or debts. This true no matter how the property is titled or held and no matter which spouse's job paid for the asset or which party incurred the debt. That means the marital estate includes a 401K account or a credit card debt that is in your spouse's name alone. In fact, marital property is inclusive and encompasses 401K plans, stock plans, stock options, real estate, frequent flier entitlements, bank account proceeds, couches, chairs, cars, utility debts, credit card debts and any other form of asset or liability. Essentially, the law views marriage as a civil partnership with many of the characteristics of a business partnership. When you join a business general partnership, each partner has an equal interest in the ownership of the business and is exposed equally to the liabilities of the partnership. This is true even if one partner incurs the debt on behalf of the partnership or one partner performs all the work making the partnership a more valuable asset. Where there are property disputes in divorce, many courts and Judges are not particularly fond of hearing those issues. This particularly true when the dispute involves assets that are primarily household furnishings. As a result, courts often ender very unsatisfactory Orders related to the division of household furnishings. In fact, in one memorable case, the Judge gave one spouse half of the dining room table and half the chairs and the other spouse the other half. In the end, the judge stated, 'if you don't like what I did here, you will go out in the hall and find a better solution.' This is certainly an aberration and not the norm. However, it does underscore the Court's general dislike in dealing with property issues. There are any number of ways to creatively divide household furnishings and personal property when disputes occur. In some cases, the parties may make a list and alternately choose an asset. In other cases, parties may bid on each item of property and the highest bidder both receives the asset and has that value credited to him or her as part of the property division. This may result in an payment from one spouse to the other to equalize the value of the assets received by each. In yet other cases, the one party may create two lists of assets and the second party then has first choice which list and assets he/she will receive. Mediation is always a potential option for such divisions. For full the version of Mr. Beaulier's article including general rules for non-marital assets, losing non marital value, co-mingling, tracing non-marital value and real estate go to: http://www.divorcehq.com/articles/property.html ABOUT THE AUTHOR Maury D. Beaulier is the founder of The Beaulier Law Office which has developed a large and active family law practice dedicated to providing each family law client with detailed information about every element of their case. He can be contacted by phone at (952)746-2153 or or Visit Web Site 3. DIVORCES IN THE NEWS It seems like there has been a recent rash of celebrity divorce filings. It was recently announced that Helen Hunt was filing for divorce from her husband Hank Azaria on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. The couple has been married for 17 months. New York Mayor Rudolph Guliani and his wife actress Donna Hanover are said to be negotiating in the chambers of the Acting State Supreme Court Justice Judith Gische. It is believed that the papers were filed on October 20th in New York as Anonymous vs Anonymous. In New York divorce proceedings are confidential. Tennis champion Boris Becker has filed for divorce from his wife Barbara in a German court. On the same day his wife was filing papers in Miami Florida for financial support and custody of their two children. However, all is not lost. Rapper, Eminem and his wife Kim have asked a judge to dismiss their divorce complaint stating they only wanted what was best for their 5-year-old daughter. 4. HUMOR Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.