DIVORCE HEADQUARTERS NEWSLETTER       Issue #3,     September 2000 Thanks to our loyal visitors, Divorce Headquarters is growing by leaps and bounds. We strive to continue to make DivorceHQ.com the best site on the internet for divorce information and resources. Did you know that DivorceHQ.com is DowJones.com's Editors Choice for Divorce sites. In this Issue: Back to School Planning For Divorce     by Maury D. Beaulier, Esquire Choosing an Attorney in a Divorce or Custody Matter     by Steven Pradell, Esquire Divorce Humor In the News Headlines Survey Results 1. BACK TO SCHOOL Back to school is an important time for children. It is an opportunity for a fresh start. New teachers, new friends, maybe even a new school. It can also be an opportunity for a fresh start for parents as well. If you are divorced or getting divorced keep your children's education out of it. Of course if there are custody/visitation issues, or restraining orders the school will need to be made aware of them. Here are a few things to keep in mind: 1) Contrary to what you may feel about your ex-spouse, the school administration, teachers and classmates parents don't need to know these feelings. 2) If you are the custodial parent always keep the non custodial parent aware of what is going on at the school, such as back to school nights, report cards, extra curricular activities and performances that will be taking place. Allow the non custodial parent the opportunity to be involved by participating in class trips etc. 3) If you are a non custodial parent stay involved in your child's education. Ask you child what's going on in school, what projects they may be working on, etc. Offer assistance with homework or projects. Even if it's over the phone or online it will mean a lot to the children. 4) Always be discreet. If you encounter your ex at a school function, remain civil. If this is not possible remove yourself from the situation before anything happens. Children of all ages are easily embarrassed, especially when their parents "act out" in public. 5) As is the case with all aspects of a divorce always put the children first, consider their feelings and remember they love and need you both. The following are excerpts from articles submitted by our professional members. For full text of the article visit http://Divorcehq.com/articles.html 2. Planning For Divorce               by Maury D. Beaulier, Esquire Preplanning Strategies. Nobody marries with the expectation of failure. Married couples never contemplate that the person they once loved could later seem to be a stranger and perhaps even an enemy. Yet, statistics paint an ugly picture. Approximately 4 out of 10 marriages today end in divorce. In divorce proceedings, women lose financially, their standard of living may drop as much as thirty percent in the first year following a divorce. Men, may not suffer as great financially, however, they tend to lose precious time with their children. One of the greatest contributors to divorce is the issue of "control" - either financial or personal. Who controls the bank account? Who sets the social agenda? When one partner to a marriage "controls", the other partner loses their sense of self. A divorce becomes imminent as the controlled partner tries to regain their self-esteem. There are several simple and logical ways to protect yourself financially if you believe your marriage is in jeopardy: Keep Non-Marital Assets Separate Establish Your Own Credit Review Your Financial Holdings Regularly Time Your Divorce Close Joint Accounts Hire an Experienced Divorce Lawyer For full the version of Mr. Beaulier's article including the details on the above steps go to: http://www.divorcehq.com/articles/planningfordivorce.html ABOUT THE AUTHOR Maury D. Beaulier is the founder of The Beaulier Law Office which has developed a large and active family law practice dedicated to providing each family law client with detailed information about every element of their case. He can be contacted by phone at (952)746-2153 or or Visit Web Site 3. Choosing an Attorney in a Divorce or Custody Matter               by Steven Pradell, Esquire One of the most difficult decisions a parent must make if a divorce or custody dispute appears inevitable is the attorney who may be hired to represent that parent. Failure to choose an attorney who will effectively abide by a client's desires and properly represent a parent in a legal proceeding can be devastating, especially when children are involved. Therefore, it is important to take the time to properly select an attorney who you believe will act in your best interests. This article will explore steps that may be taken in the process of selecting an attorney. There are many resources available which can assist a parent in locating a lawyer. Friends and relatives who have been through a divorce can refer you to an attorney who they believe was beneficial in representing them. The Bar Association in your state may have a Lawyer Referral Service which may provide the names, free of charge, of three attorneys who practice in the specific area of divorce or custody. The Yellow Page listing of a telephone directory is another place where family law attorneys can be located. Regardless of how a lawyer is located, it is important to interview an attorney at the start of the process to ensure that he or she has the qualifications and experience that you desire. It is helpful to remember that you are hiring the attorney to work for you. It may be useful to prepare written questions for an attorney in advance of your appointment to get the most out of your meeting, and to insure that all of your important issues are discussed. At a consultation, you can question the attorney to determine whether he or she can assist you with your legal problems. You can also inquire regarding the fees charged and services that the attorney provides. Many attorneys ask for a retainer from potential clients which is required to be given to the attorney prior to performing any work for a client. Find out before or during the consultation whether or not the retainer is refundable. Some attorneys charge an hourly fee, and others charge a flat fee. Ask the attorney how you will be charged for the services provided. If you are able to afford more than one consultation, it may be wise to consult with two or more attorneys and compare their services and rates. Also, it is important to choose an attorney who you feel comfortable speaking with, who appears to be interested in your particular case, and one upon whom you believe that you can rely to speak to the court on your behalf. Find out how long the attorney has practiced law in your state, and how much of the attorney's practice includes domestic matters. Finally, it may be important to seek out an attorney who will act in a manner that is consistent with your desires in your particular case. If you believe that the case will be complex and require an aggressive approach, you may want to seek an attorney who has demonstrated a willingness to be aggressive when necessary. Similarly, if you believe that your attorney should work toward settlement, look for someone who agrees with this approach. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Steven Pradell is an Attorney with a practice located in Anchorage, Alaska, emphasizing family law, including divorce, custody, child support and adoption.©2000 by Steven Pradell. Steve's book, The Alaska Family Law Handbook, (1998) is available to assist those involved in Alaska family law matters in understanding domestic law issues. This article is not intended to provide legal advice and should not be relied on for that purpose. 4. HUMOR A little humor for the second time around.... Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper 5. IN THE NEWS HEADLINES DEADBEAT GOES TO JAIL It was recently announced that Chief US District Court Judge William G. Young has sentenced a 47 year old resident of Venezuela to six months in prison for willfully failing to pay a legal child support obligation. The sentence was handed down under the new felony provision of the federal Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act. HOUSE PASSES HEALTH INSURANCE BILL A bill that was passed by the House on September 19, 2000 forces federal employees to abide by state child support orders that require non-custodial parents to provide health insurance for their children. The bill allows the federal government to enroll a government employee and their family in the government's health insurance plan when so ordered. WELFARE CHILDREN TO RECEIVE PAST DUE CHILD SUPPORT In a 405-18 vote, bill H.R. 4678 passed the House on Thursday. The bill will allow those people leaving the ranks of welfare to collect 100% of the past due child support they are owed. As it is now, the government takes half the past due child support that is paid to pay back the welfare payments that were received.